peniel

(no subject)

 Yes, I lack the will and the determination to complete a certain task or goal.
Yes, I'm a cheater and a liar through and through.
Yes, I suck as a person.

I want to change, but I can't, it's too hard.
peniel

难道真的那么难高懂我吗?

找不到人说心里的寂寞,找不到人懂怕黑的折磨。
找不到命中注定在一起的那个人,
很多人都笑我,一个人过生活。


只有简单笔画
却比想像复杂,很安定爱变化,
我爱过几个人,也被爱过几遍,
却还是没能将幸福留下。

是不可输的吗,为何我还相信她不是不欣赏,
我在等一个人,在等我的永恒,
告诉我爱不单行,别害怕。

用不到身边泛滥的自由,开始怕孤单是一种诅咒
羡慕我能飞的人为何在天里以后,
还是宁愿回到,爱情那个枷锁。


只有简单笔画
却比想像复杂,很安定爱变化,
我爱过几个人,也被爱过几遍,
却还是没能将幸福留下。

是不可输的吗,为何我还相信她不是不欣赏,
我在等一个人,在等我的永恒,
告诉我爱不单行,别害怕。


只有简单笔画
却比想像复杂,很安定爱变化,
我爱过几个人,也被爱过几遍,
却还是没能将幸福留下。

是不可输的吗,为何我还相信它不是不欣赏,
我在等一个人,在等我的永恒,
告诉我爱不单行,别害怕。

我在等一个人,在等我的永恒,
告诉我爱不单行,相信它。
peniel

(no subject)

 the weekend and school reopens.

*braces herself*

I mean, what could possibly happen?
A broken limb (or two), a fake smile (or two), and maybe, along the way, a broken inside.

Homework is the least of my worries.
peniel

territorial,

 ya stay away from me.
as far as possible.
you come any nearer and you will dieeee.

ya don't fuck around with me - even if you've got the whole world behind you.
because I know that I ain't giving up just 'cos of that.
I'm a fighter, I'm a born fighter and I am VERY competitive.
I will, and I repeat that, I WILL beat you ass upside down and make sure you never see daylight again if you come near me anytime soon.

hey you, just because I may not be in your league or your clique, my fucking heart is bigger than yours and I'm prettier than you.
oh, and I bet you that if I study as hard as you, I can fucking own your grades.
also, just because I may seem small and weak and feeble or whatever, I'm not a FUCKING pushover.

bitch.
hhj love

sick of everything,

 ^_^
I am once again here to rant.
Like it or not.
I am going to rant.
Even if you're sick of it.

I admit I suck at managing my time, I admit I suck at studying.
But this is really too much for me to handle.
I've got a whole week (no, 2 weeks) FILLED with god damn tests and quizzes and homework and idk what.
Which reminds me, I have a field trip assignment due.
But that's not the point.

I'm sick of saying I'm tired. Exhausted would be an understatement.
I feel bad, yes I really do but I really can't.
I at least expected you to TRY to understand - but I guess you failed anyway.

I just need something to distract my mind - something happy that can make me feel appreciated but I guess God won't be giving it to me until I'm 10000000 years old.
It has been 15 long years of torture already and I'm sick of being the only one. Please.

(death is inevitable now, huh)
peniel

SAP,

 How many of us actually enjoy being socially awkward during CNY?

I for one, don't.
I hate it when relatives talk to each other and then the only question they ask you is about school.
I mean, it's the holidays. Do I HAVE TO talk about school?

Pisses the shit out of me.
So dam annoying.

And just recently, I thought of something I shouldn't have.
I wondered what would have been if I confronted you, then maybe this year wouldn't be as crazily depressing as it is right now.

I could put your name here and no one would know who I was talking about because you, for one, can't care less about what I think, or what I feel.
But it's all over now. I don't give no shit about you anymore.
I don't give a shit about your future.
I don't give a shit about your appearance.
I don't give a shit about your character and what you're turning into.

People say things about you that I don't really care about.
Because I don't want to regret anything.
Instead, I feel happy that I didn't get stuck with a loser like you.

Or maybe, I would have been sad, to know that I missed on someone as special as you.
But it's okay.
Someone better will come by my way - or maybe he already is on his way.
peniel

a strand,

 I don't get it.

If you're unhappy with me, tell it to my face.
I don't mind if you hate on me, but don't start hating on my friends just because of me.

You call me a flirt, fine, no one asked you to call them flirts.
You call me a bitch, fine, no one asked you to call them bitches.

If you're so destined to single me out, then tell me.
I cannot stand how cowardly you are.

Don't try to hurt me through my friends - I treat them better than I would a boyfriend so watch what you speak and idgaf if you're angry and throwing a tantrum.

DO NOT. HURT MY FRIENDS.
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